Pashupatinath Temple in Kathmandu, Nepal

Yesterday we visited Pashupatinath Temple, considered by many to be the holiest place in Nepal. Pashupatinath is a cremation site on the banks of the Baghmati river in Kathmandu. There is a large Hindu temple along with many other buildings that support the cremation process during this difficult time for families. The Hindu cremation ceremony is a very personal experience and we witnessed an especially moving one yesterday.

My husband, Rene, is fascinated by the spectrum of life that is experienced during the cremation ceremony. At this ceremony the singularity of life and death becomes a very personal experience not only for the person being cremated, but for everyone who witnesses it.

Singularity, one point in which time or space do not exist, where there is no life or death, no here or there. The beginning and the end coincide. One point in which the life of the deceased and the life of the family participate together in a delicate ceremony. You see, in the Hindu tradition, from the moment of death until their ashes are swept into the river, the family is responsible for everything. In the western tradition when a person dies we call the mortuary, who comes to either the hospital or home and transfers the body to the funeral home to be prepared for the burial. The mortician prepares and dresses the body for presentation at the funeral in the casket. Then the funeral home holds a viewing in a nice room for friends and family to come and pay their respect in a more personal way than is possible at a funeral. At the funeral everyone dresses nicely in black and arrives at the church to sit stoically in the pews while the minister talks about passing from life to death. As sad and touching as these ceremonies can be, they pale in comparison to what I was able to witness at Pashupatinath yesterday.

After watching several families prepare their loved ones for cremation and seeing the pyres burning, we decided to walk through the “Indiana Jones” temples on the other side of the river. As we were standing and soaking in the experience we saw a large gathering on the side of the river where the ceremonies begin and we decided to sit and watch from the beginning. We saw a body being brought over on a stretcher that was covered with the traditional yellow and red cloth and placed with the feet almost touching the river. There was another smaller “package,” also covered in the traditional cloth near-by and then another body up on the top of the area. Soon we could see that this was not a single cremation, but there were 3 bodies being prepared side by side. As the faces were exposed for the mourners to see, we realized that this was a small family—father, mother and child—all being prepared at the same time. The gathering was very large and as the family took turns going to the river to dip their hands and bring water to their loved ones, several women fainted as they were consumed with grief. Men were holding each other up as they slowly proceeded to the bodies to participate and bless them. Rice is placed in their mouths, incense is burned and water is sprinkled over the bodies. Marigold garlands were placed over the bodies before they were placed on the bamboo stretchers to be carried over to the ghats. We observed this very personal ceremony as a large crowd gathered on both sides of the river, on the bridge and the temple above. Everyone present this day was part of the ceremony as we all sat and silently grieved for a family we did not know. We began to wonder what happened, what caused this tragedy, but could only imagine what took place. I was moved by the very personal experience and how every family member took turns going to touch and bless the bodies. Even through unbearable grief they slowly made their way to the river to say their good-byes in their own way. Everyone was silent as this unfolded before our eyes and we became part of their very tragic and personal experience. All who were present became one with the deceased and their families as the tears mixed with smoke and we sent our prayers towards the heavens.